Tits, tats and a little bit of feminism

So my lovely friend and I were just discussing the “modern” connotation of the word “feminism”, she wrote a nice little diddy about it, here. And so now I will throw originality to the window and piggy-back off her brilliance.

I shave my legs. It makes me feel sexy.

I wear a bra every day. I love my tits, I want them to look their best.

I make dick jokes every chance I get.

When my boyfriend and I go out to dinner, I pay for myself.

I am not demure – I am not passive – and I don’t take shit from anyone. This does not make me manly.

I think women look better naked than men – I’m not a lesbian.

My dude does the heavy lifting so I don’t have to.

Being a feminist to me does not mean that we deserve special treatment.

In my life there have been a few things that stuck out to me:

“Girls with tattoos are easy”

I love that people think this. I don’t have a tramp-stamp. I don’t have a little butterfly on my ankle. I don’t have a fairy on my ass - I have a full sleeve of daemons depicting the apocalypse – a Viking on my back – and Odin’s raven’s on my shoulder. My tattoos are more badass than 95% of the males I have met with tattoos. My female friends with tattoos are the classiest dames I know. Try the girl with the word “JUICY” written across the rear before you try us ladies with tats.

To quote: “it toughens girls in a strange way that makes people feel like they are just less ashamed in general. And that gets flipped in a negative sense when sexuality comes into the picture.” You’re damn right I’m less ashamed. I am proud of who I am, where I’ve been, what I’ve done. But this has nothing to do with being female.

A side note when dealing with people with a lot of tattoo’s:

DON’T TOUCH US. I hate being touched by strangers, my tattoos do NOT give you the right to touch me. In fact don’t even ask if you can look at them up close. You can stare at me from afar, but I don’t want you to compare your quarter sized butterfly to my extensive work. Doesn’t compare. If you have sat in that chair long enough to forget now many hours you have spent there, then and ONLY then can you compare your work to mine.


“You can’t possibly know what you’re talking about, you’re a girl.”

I listen to metal, primarily the extreme forms, death metal, black metal ect… (we aren’t talking slipknot here kids – yeesh) - stuff most girls wouldn’t touch with a 10 ft pole. It is, and will forever be, a male dominated musical genre. When I go to shows its always entertaining to me to watch the reactions of the guys around me. They stare at me like I am an oddity, perplexed by my presence. I am never worried at a show – I know that most of the dudes there will kick someone’s ass if they ever mess with me, not that I couldn’t deal with it myself, but its nice to know that they have my back.

Now here’s the negatives: I constantly have to prove myself. I am frequently not taken seriously, “you can’t possibly know what you’re talking about, you’re a girl.” Yeah, I’m a blonde girl, with big tits, I am bubbly and get really stoked on a lot of shit. But I am tough as nails and I love metal. I am more versed than most guys. I am “one of the guys” and I like it that way.

I don’t wear plaid mini skirts.

I don’t wear a corset with my boobs falling out.

I don’t dance when I head-bang.

Yes, I AM dating a guy in bands – he did not get me into metal.

I love when I come across awesome female metal musicians. It makes me so happy. I just think “fuck you, see we can do this too!”

I love being a girl.

Life in the SLOW Lane

I have always been the sort of person that rushes from task to task or event to event, always thinking about the next thing I have to do in the midst of doing the current task at hand. As a result I have missed a great many things in life, and never took much joy in the things I was doing, because I was simply doing them just to get as many things done as I could. There would also be times that I would get so overwhelmed that I would shut down and lock myself in my room for days and just watch whatever mindless show happened to be on and just zoned out and thought about nothing.

Over the past year or so I have made a commitment to myself to just slow down. Not let life pass me by, I am 22 years old now, before I know it I will be 40 years old, and I do not want to look back over my life and realize I rushed through everything and didn’t look up from the path I was on to see how blue the sky is or feel the sun on my face. I don’t want to look back and think “I wish I could go back and live that over so I could actually enjoy it”.

Life is the journey, not the destination.

Slow life and the AA way: I don’t talk much about my actual experiences in AA with people that I am not exceptionally close to, or in the program themselves. Mostly because this is a private thing to me, and being an already private person it is important to me to keep it close to my heart. Not so say that I have an issue with people knowing, clearly or I wouldn’t be including this… at any rate, I will say, I have been sober for five and a half years. Counting back, that would make me 17 when I sobered up. I am eternally grateful to have been given the opportunity to learn the things that I am learning now at such a young age. It has not only saved my life but given me a new, happy one. I am not perfect, but as they say, it’s about progress, not perfection.

The reason I include this, simply stated, is because without it I would not have even thought to simplify and slow down. There is a saying in the program that goes “One day at a time”. Normally we say this when someone is going through a hard time, and the meaning is, to look only at the day ahead of you. You can do anything just 24 hours at a time. I am not normally for kitschy sayings or slogans, but in the early stages of my sobriety it kept me going. Now, five years later, I see it in a whole new light. It is not only applicable in times of hardship, but rather, a modus operandi. I like to live only in this day. I plan for the future, but live in today. But I also think this could be changed; one hour, one minute, one moment at a time. Live in the moment, because as the saying goes, it will be gone in the blink of an eye.

Show up. Be present. Good things will come your way if you’re there to get them. All it takes is getting yourself there.

A slow vegetarian: naturally I can’t make it through something of this sort without discussing being a vegetarian. This is not because I want to change the world and convert everyone to a meat-free diet. It’s not for everyone, and each person should do what’s right for them.

For me this has been the second most life changing decision I have made. Thanks to conscientious eating my body, mind and spirit have done a complete 180. I could write volumes about this. But I won’t, today. Over time I have developed an appreciation and love for everything alive in this world. I feel apart of something large. People think that being a vegetarian is simply a diet choice. Its more than that, it is a life choice. The decision to eat only whole, real foods, and learning about what it takes to grow and create these things has given me an appreciation for the majesty of this world.

Drive in the slow lane.

Ride a bike instead of driving.

Cook dinner instead of going out.

Spend a long time with one friend rather than rushing to many.

Love your family. Appreciate the craziness. It’s what makes you who you are.

Be good to you.