at any rate. this shall begin what im sure well be an on going rant about heavy metal. and music in general.
lets be honest here folks - people who listen to heavy metal (for real) are nerdy kids with a mother, or father, complex - painted over with a nice glossy finish of hard-ass, which is supposed to cover up the afore mentioned mother complex.
once that point is understood the rest just falls into place. we think that because we can withstand 14 instruments all playing full volume - that we are somehow superior to those who can't hack it - or choose not to.
genre's (sub) - for every genre of metal there are there are at any given point in time at least 14 different sub-genre's (or sub-genre's of said sub-genre). this results in the most complex confusing and complex set of standards that those participating in, what i will now call "the lifestyle", use to judge each flavor of metal and subsequently each other.
-more info on this subject next class.. more important things to discuss-
genders - this is the most entertaining of all topics:
men - are generally long haired, somewhat portly (or the exact opposite). wear black pants and band shirts. given the season said t-shirt may have cut off sleeves or be covered by a leather jacket. let's be totally honest here folks, i love a good man with some lovely locks and a sweet band shirt collection.
women - the stereo typical "metal-chick" is a truly unfortunate being. most likely than not they are fat, wear too tight clothing of the "goth" variety. if they are not fat their faces make up for the lack of fat and are generally covered in WAY too much black eye-liner.
Obscurity - metal is the most appearance oriented musical genre. i will put that on the books. there is a strict uniform, and most dont break from it. however, tho the band shirt is the staple of the metal wardrobe, the more obscure the shirt the better. the more bands you know the better. if more than 5 people know what you're talking about you aren't doing your job and should probably go myspace some new bands that have less than 1,000 fans.
concerts - to be frank: this is where we go to show off how metal we really are. to posture much like animals in the wild. girls feel hot (who wouldn't with a room full of guys who's last girlfriend was a gibson and his right hand). men feel manly. all around we just love concerts - its what we live for man :insert bro voice:. love them except for the sore throat - bruises - "bang-over" - sore feet - and overwhelming smell of other peoples BO that you just cant seem to get out of your nose. oh, and the sense of violation - due to too many nerdy men with mother complexes oggling you simply because god gave you a great rack.
to those not privy to "the life-style" this may all seem a quite ridiculous. appearances do not deceive.
"heavy-metal" is a joke - but i love it.
