the dream life.

so i have recently been thinking more and more about the life i wish i had. musician. not just any musician. singer in an awesome dark ass folk metal band - much like asmegin or moonsorrow.

lets face it - the office job life is not for me, for the long run anyway. its starting to wear on my psyche. not to say i dont like my job and the money it affords me. but i have always had aspirations for much greater things. much more fun. and i can think of nothing more fun than making music and being completely immersed in it. too bad i cant play an instrument and i am way too chicken to ever sing in a band - even tho i can actually sing.

an additional point of amazingness - being in a sweet metal band would almost necessitate moving to a scandinavian country. most bands of note (at least from my perspective) come from there and they have musicians grants which provide money to bands just to record... amazing!

at the end of the day i want to go to sleep thinking "holy shit i did a bunch of awesome stuff today" not "wow i went to work.. that was the same as every other day... came home.. watched tv.. how boring..". the only way i can see myself accomplishing that is doing something with music/metal whatever.

its hard being a girl. i feel like my dreams to really be a part of the music anything are kind of stinted by the fact that i was born with a vagina. at least im not as hideous as 95% of the other girls that listen to metal and am not as skanky as 100% of them. but even still...

even if i can never be in a band (which is likely) i at least need to do something like produce or manage or promote. i just need to figure out which and how i will go about doing that...